It’s been silent here on the blog for a while, but there’s a really good and special reason for that. We’re having a baby!
Many of you know about my history of miscarriage and the struggles that James and I have gone through to start a family. We are overjoyed to be able to share with friends and family that we will be welcoming a baby this August.
This has been a long and painful road for us, albeit a much shorter road than many have to endure. We started trying to have a baby not long after our 1-year wedding anniversary. After finding out that we were pregnant for the first time, we suffered 3 miscarriages in a row in less than a year. Just after our second wedding anniversary, our plans of starting a family came to a screeching halt as we tried to figure out the cause of my miscarriages, navigate major career changes, move across the country from D.C. to Austin, and find new doctors. Thankfully, I have found a wonderful doctor here in Austin who has been incredibly supportive of our efforts to start a family.
Despite our joy, this pregnancy has not been without its challenges.
We found out we were pregnant just after Thanksgiving. My parents were visiting for the holiday, and the day after Thanksgiving, we took a day trip up to the historic Georgetown square to see the annual Christmas tree lighting. I remember feeling off and completely exhausted. We tried to take a picture as a family and my dad had us retake it several times because my eyes were glossed over in exhaustion. When my parents left the next day, I told James that we should go out and buy a pregnancy test because something was definitely off with me.
Praise the Lord, the test came back positive! I called my doctors the following Monday and scheduled appointments to have lots of blood drawn and make sure everything was good. In my previous pregnancies, we discovered that I had extremely low levels of Progesterone which made it impossible for the baby to develop. This time around, I was taking a steady dose of Progesterone in addition to medication for hypothyroidism and other supplements prescribed by my doctor.
The first several weeks of my pregnancy were complete torture. I was overanalyzing every tiny sensation in my body, making anxious trips to the bathroom, fearing that at any moment I would see the little drops of blood that would tell me that I’m losing another baby.
I made an effort to turn every anxious thought into prayer instead. Every time fear came over me, I would pray and ask God to keep our baby safe. I would thank him for no signs of miscarriage. I would repeat Luke 1:45 to myself over and over again, 100 times a day. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.
We were scheduled for an ultrasound at 6 weeks, and I was a nervous wreck. The appointment weighed on me so heavily, knowing that I was going to find out if my unborn child was alive or not.
We walked out of the doctor’s office elated with a picture of our perfectly healthy 6-week baby in our hands! We went back in two weeks later for another ultrasound and got nothing but good news! James and I were over the moon. My anxiety started to lessen and we told our families and close friends.
But then, while visiting my family for Christmas, I got a call from my doctor on Christmas Eve. She had been looking over my test results and found that my Progesterone levels had taken a dip, despite the fact that we had not changed my medication. I was already pretty close to maxing out the allowed dosage of Progesterone, and my doctor informed me that I would need to switch to Progesterone injections. We discovered that these injections are only offered at specialty pharmacies that apparently don’t exist in Atlanta, and I was given a new prescription for an even higher dose and told to come in as soon as I got back to Texas.
Those few weeks in Atlanta were incredibly difficult. But when I made it back to the doctor, we checked on the baby and found that his or her heart was still beating strong. My Progesterone levels had come back up, and I didn’t have to get injections (at least for now).
We’re now into the 2nd trimester and our baby is the size of a Georgia peach, which of course I love. I haven’t suffered any morning sickness, which is great, but the exhaustion and nausea have been pretty terrible. Poor James has been living off of cereal and Pop Tarts because the only thing I can stomach is Cheerios and potato chips. Now that we’re in the 2nd trimester, I almost feel back to my old self, but not quite. I’m ready for that 2nd trimester energy to kick in any time!
I had an appointment with my doctor again today to check to make sure everything was good with the baby now that the first trimester is over. I got to see my baby’s heart beating. The baby was squirming around, waving its hands in front of its face, and kicking its little legs. I held in my tears of joy until I got in the car. I finally have a healthy baby. I finally get to tell people that I’m pregnant. I finally get to allow myself to get excited about a nursery and baby clothes and baby showers.
I can’t stop praising God! The song on my heart for the last few weeks has been Great Is Thy Faithfulness.
Great is Thy faithfulness
O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not
Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been
Thou forever will beGreat is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
And all I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto mePardon for sin
And a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer
And to guide
Strength for today
and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside
I’m lost for words trying to describe how blessed I am beyond measure and undeserving of all that God has done for me. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the month after I shared publicly about our miscarriages, that we find out that we are pregnant with this baby. After opening up about our losses, we had so many people praying for us, and I truly believe God heard and answered those prayers. I cried out to God. I begged God to make me like Hannah or Sarah or Elizabeth or Rebekah or any number of the childless women in the Bible to whom God gave children. I knew that if we were going to have children, God would have to perform a miracle. And He did! For nothing will be impossible with God. (Luke 1:37) His is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty (1 Chronicles 29:11). We give all the glory to God for this miracle baby that he has given us.
Thank you to those of you who have been praying for us. We are overwhelmed with joy and hope that you’ll celebrate this gift with us!
And for those of you still fighting your battle with miscarriage and infertility, you are not forgotten. I still think of you, pray for you, and want to offer you love and encouragement. God has a plan for you. In the meantime, I’m here to walk with you.